I was no stranger to oral sex. I was a college graduate after all. I didn’t mind doing it, I’d always felt a sense of empowerment while performing the act. Yeah, I was on my knees in front of a guy, but he was ultimately at my mercy. I used to brush an old boyfriend with my teeth at the beginning just to remind him who was in charge. My act on Friday shocked me because I was so wanton. Not concerned about damaging his opinion of me, I’d acted on every idea that popped into my head. My only concern was the quality of my performance. I still couldn’t believe I made that much noise! While I was lost in thought my hands had crept below my waist. No! I was not going to do that. I scrubbed at my thighs, but his name would not disappear. I was able to lose myself in the tasks of the weekend, but the memory of Friday’s events tickled at the back of my mind. Pulling into the parking lot on Monday I convinced myself that the whole event was an aberration. I just needed to assert myself and. I didn’t respond, but sobbed into my pillow, my tears staining the cotton slip.‘What were you doing?’He waited for me to reply. I turned to him, and he stood sternly next to my bed.‘I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I have seen terrible burns on children when food spills onto them. I just wanted to help her. I didn’t mean anything, I was just trying to save her.’His stance and face softened. ‘Really? Is that what you thought?’‘Yes, I was worried about her, I didn’t want to see her suffer or in pain’.‘Oh…well… it didn’t look like that!’‘I know, it must have looked terrible, I am really sorry.’He looked at me for a few seconds and then turned towards the door.I lay on my back on the bed, arm over my face, feeling more miserable than I had felt for a long time, even at the orphanage. Every time I thought of the slap on my cheek and the look in her eyes I sobbed again. I could feel the heat on my cheek from her hand.I could hear muffled voices from the kitchen but I couldn’t make out the words.I.
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